some one please help me
i dont know what is happening to me
the only think i know is that i am going crazy please God spare me of all these miseries?
i was in bangkok two weeks ago and i had a really lovely time; i was in bangkok and in pattaya
i loved the night life and rocked the dance floor on some nice music.
i was partying all night ; long in the night clubs./.
i miss london
coming back to the point
i am very un well
i have been suffering from this mental illness since 8 years , 5 months and 7 days.
enough is enough.
i have this bloody obsessive compulsive disorder and i hear these bloody voices.
i really miss the heart of bangkok and love it.
i have been going through hell for more than 2 weeks and i dont know what i have done wrong to deserve these miseries.;
i have compulsions and i hear voices almost every day.
the compulsions go on and on/
i have to close all the switches , taps and windows in my step fathers house in ,lahore.
i have to close all the taps and switches in my grand parents house in in lahore.
i have to close switches and taps at my grandfathers brothers house in in lahore.
i have to close taps at a filteration plant which is actually a building with taps near my step fathers house in lahore.
i have to close all the switches and taps at my step fathers farm in the outskirts of lahore.
i have to close switches at my grand mothers brothers house in lahore/; i have to close switches and taps at a school in lahore where my mother out me to study computers and english.
i have to close taps at the daewoo bus stop in lahore.
i have to close taps at the bathroom at bherra which is a place between lahore and islamabads motorway.
i have to close the taps at the bathroom next to the readings book shop in lahore.
i have to close the switches in a clothes shop in lahore where my mother took me to buy clothes
and this bloody list goes on and on and i ma bloody ill.
t;this is a deadly cyce which drives me insane.
enough is enough.
; i am bloody ill.
i hear voices which tell me that the world is unreal and that the whole world is a setup and that every one is against me and that they are all coming to get me and that they all know what i am doing and thinking/
; they are all part of the set up they tell me. i dont know what to do/; i feel very depressed and miserable.; what can i do?
i miss new york , the heart of toronto and the streets of bangkok.
i miss kathmandu
i miss singapore.; this illness has ruined very thing.
; my nerves are too weak to tolerate all this crap
i have to suffer so much.
i loved the party scene of bangkok.
please some one help me
i dont want to live.
i cant live and i cant die.
what can i do
nothing can be done.
i have heard voices many many times in the last two weeks and the list of compulsions goes on and on.
my mother made me talk to a sufi saint who told me that some one had done some great black magic on me and that some one had cursed me., i hear voices many time and i want to die.; i really miss the heart of bangkok and i am sick of this bloody country , pakistan. so is it true that some one has done black magic on me
i go through hell very bloody day of my life.
i go through agony every day/
how can God allow this to happen /
as i said before , i really miss bangkok.
the voices drive me insane/ no on cares about me , i dont want to live. i have been tolerating this nonsense since the last 8 bloody years and i can not take this crap any more/
i want to go to canada or america or to rock the dance floor in bangkok.
i really love the night life of bangkok.;
; no one gives a fuck and i have to suffer so much.
\; so is it true that some on has cursed me to done black magic on me?.
; it seems as if the whole world is a setup and that every one is against me.
nothing can be done.
i have gone through hell all my life and i have done nothing wrong,
; as i said before no one cares a fuck.
pakistan sucks and i want to rock the dance floor in bangkok.
i want to party in new york city , i might go to brazil for the olympics in august , 2016.
the truth is that i will have to live with this illness for the rest of my bloody life.;
i have to become a writer.
life is too miserable and these sufferings will never end,
they will never end.
and no one can stop god from making people suffer so much?
whats the point of making people suffer so much?
if god can end all the evil and suffering then why dosent he/
we have been sent to this world to rot and to suffer.
i have to go through so much pain and to suffer so much/
i get a severe pain in my head. the Voices go on and on/; dont you get it joshwa
this is all part of a setup.; dont you get it, they are all coming to get you
you must close the switches!
you must close the taps!/.
i have to go to nathiagalli which is city in northern pakistan and to close the taps in the bathroom and the switches. in the room in the hotel.
i went there a few years ago and have issues to close the taps and switches.
; i dont know when i will be cured of this illness?.
i had gone to lahore for two days from islamabad and heard voices many times and i bought some books.
Dan Barker is my very good friend.
he is sending his latest book to me through mail.
i miss the times sqaure in new york and i miss bangkok while listening to maroon5 .
they put me into a mental health hospital in bangkok.
i want to party and rock the dance floor in new york,toronto and bangkok.
i will be tha happiest person alive when this illness ends but it seems as if this illness will never end.
God is responsible and is to be blamed for all the miseries and sufferings in this world , enough is enough.
i thank my lucky stars as i come to islambad.
i attended the lahore literature festival and met ahmed rashid.
i want to party in bangkok and new york as well as toronto.
i am going to brazil for the olympics in august and i want to stop .in new york as well,if we have the money that is.
i have many books on my readings list like
"restless" by william boyd.
"the tipping point " by malcom gladwell/
'the last juror" by john grisham.
i have to read
sam harris book 'the end of faith ,religion,terror and the future of reason' again.
i am madly in love with this writer sam harris and would like to meet him one day.
i miss london.
i want to go to times square in new york city and to chill , i really miss bangkok and all the great times i had over there.
so i will be going to brazil for the olympics/
i have to become a writer and sell billions of copies.
it is my dream to meet sam harris and michel onfray but christopher hitchens passed away.
i have read michel onfrays book/.
i saw a UFO (unidentified flying object)
in my dream a couple of days ago.
i missthe heart of new york and i have been able to fight and to control the compulsions but they still bother me , lets hope that iam cured of this illness and can live a happy life.
life is too miserable and we are here to rot and suffer,
i like reading books by michel onfray , sam harris and irshad manji.
should watch the X Files.
i was in bangkok and pattaya and rocked the dance floor , i like listening to music and partying in the far east.
it seems as if the sufferings and miseries will never end.
i am friends with feryal ali gauhar.
i met ahmed rashid in lahore.
i love all the books i have in my room.
one day i hope that i will be cured of this illness and will celebrate and enjoy in hawaii with my mothers sister on an indian song.
i miss the hotel of malaysia and the night clubs of pattaya and bangkok.
i want to party all night long in bangkok and go to new york city.
i have been suffering from this mental illness since more than 8 years .
when will i be cured of this illness?
the other question is that will i be rid of all this shit or not?.
i really hope that one day i will be cured of this shitty illness.
i still want to rock the dance floor in new york city and i am sick of this fucking pakistan/
the news is that i am better/
"brain on fire" by susannah cahalan.
i bought this from new york city last year and read it in one day.
its about a girl in new york city in 2009
'she talks about times square.
she end up in a hotel with no memory where she has come from..
it was a very intersting read.
then i read "end of faith"
its called"the end of faith" , religion , terror and the future of reason."
its my dream to meet sam harris.
and i read this book for a second time and dan barker might send me another book by sam harris called "letter to a christain nation" , i read
' the shadow of the wind.
it is a novel by a spanish writer and it was just lovely , i read it is 2 days. , /i Loved reading these books .
on my list i have "the God delusion"
by richard dawkins which is available every where in pakistan which is strange , then i have " the last juror" by john grisham and then i have
" the Bride" by Bapsi Sidhwa'
i still miss bangkok and want to rock the dance floor in new york city.
i really hope that i am cured of this illness one day ,\\
i read 'the end of faith'
by sam harris again and I LOVED it like any thing and
Dan Barker might send me his other book by mail from america called
"letter to a christian nation"
i read ' bride" by bapsi sidhwa today and it was terrible.
i have many books on my reading list like
"why i am not a muslim' by ibn warraq, i bought it two years ago from a book shop in toronto.
i still have "God delusion"
by richard dawkins.
might read "a golden age" by tahmima anam..
what can i possibly do?
i am very good friends with Athiest writer Dan Barker and have gotten dozens of email from him.
i want to fix the compulsions and fuck off from this bloody country pakistan and live in america/.
I SOME ONE HELP PLEASE BYE