I AM SICK OF THIS BLOODY LIFE,GOD IS TO BE BLAMED FOR ALL THE MISERIES IN THIS WORLD,SOME ONE HELP PLEASE!.

my tolerance level has expired and what i mean by that is that i can not take these sufferings any more.

it has been twelve years that i have been suffering from this crap

i am in islamabad right now. 

i heard  voices yesterday and  i hear voices almost every day.

they tell me that the world is un real and that the whole world is a set up and that every one is against me and that they are all watching me.

i just can not take this any more,

enough is enough, i just want to die.

  

the voices go on and on,

dont you get it joshwa , this is all part of a set up?.

dont you get it ? they are all coming to get you?/

the voices can not be controlled no matter how hard i try to do that.

you guys might get angry that i repeat what i say and say it over and over again.

but cant help it  this is the illness i have and have   to suffer like this,

as i said before that this will not end.

i had gone to thailand for the new year and then i was in combodia for three weeks and then i was in qatar for four days.

the compulsions are the worst.

.there are nearly 100 places where i have issues to close taps and swithces in lahore and nearly 50 in islamabad.

we had a driver for many years and he had been steeling money and mobiles so we handed him over to the police but we later forgave him.

i will tell you that where i have compulsions.

the same taps and switches in my fathers village and at a police station near the village,

our driver had been stealing things so he was sent to the police station so i have issues there ,i had to make a couple of trips to that thanna or police station what ever it is.

and also at the drivers house and  at the SHOs house of the police station and different jails like the  adiala jail and the much jail and the landi kotal jail.

the same at  a hotel we stayed at in nathiagalli a city in pakistan where we stayed at inn 2013,the same at my grand fathers brothers sons wifes grand parents farm house in lahore.

the same at different cities like in gheragali , a city in northern pakistan where my step fathers sisters daughter  goes and also at her husbands farm house,

the same at my step fathers aunts house  in shiekhupura,a city in pakistan.

same at different cities like in a city called sargodha.

and gujranwala and saiwal and muzzaffarabad and neelum valley,peshawar and karachi and  srinagar.

same at some relatives house in kahuta , a city in pakistan.

same at my step fathers relatives

 house in outer lahore.

the same at a place called khanpur where my mothers friend has a house.

same at my step mothers friends flat in bhurban , a city in northern pakistan.

same at a house in murree of my fathers friend and the same at the house of a driver we had who came after the driver who stole our stuff. some stuff  at a place 

 called toba tek singh and tharparkar.

same at the house of my fathers servant who passed away in the village.

same at the house of a girl whom i used to play with me when i was a child ,she died in her village.

i went to multan to meet a relative so the bus stopped at a city  called  jhang where i have issues and then also at multan  , at a relatives 

 house and at a restaurant where i have issues where we went to to have food.


same at the house of the driver in multan , my  grand parents have had this driver since many years.

the compulsions bother me in lahore and islamabad in  addition to the compulsions in many cities in pakistan,.

i dont know what to say or what to do, now this is just worst than hell ,will this

 ever end?no one knows,.

so the thing is that there are issues to close taps and switches at many places in lahore , islamabad and many many places in pakistan.

i would like to express my love for thailand , bangkok inparticular/.

i have been there 11 times and i just love the night life and my  father is taking me again over there in december , if we have the money that is.

what can possibly be done?.

obviously god is to be blamed for all these miseries,  and i just cant take it any more, hearing  voices and the compulsions bothering me every day.

i dont do the compulsions but they bother me all the time and there must be many or countless



places where i  have to close taps and switches but i dont know about them or have not been there.

i just want to go and party all night long in bangkok and visit the book shops i like and chill   on the beach in pattaya,.

i want to enjoy my life in thailand and to live over there,.

but the problem is that we dont have enough money,.

i just want to die some times,.

will this illness ever end or not?.

i dont know what to say or what to do,

this is danial tanvir.

i hear voices and have compulsions.

right now i am in my flat in islamabad using the lap top on my bed.

i love reading books.

the writers i like  include christopher hitchens ,michel onfray,robert wright,david silverman and  on top of that i am very good friends with writer dan barker  and i get an email from him every other week.

i am what i am and  i have to become a writer.

i believe in aliens and i like the x files.

i dont know why god does this to me, how can this be allowed to happen?.

this is madness and this  is very unfair.

i have talked enough  about the voices and compulsions.

lets talk about nice stuff for example who much i love thailand and that means bangkok.

i was chilling on beach in thailand  which was in pattaya and then i was at times sqaure new york city.

salman rushdie came in my dream and christopher hitchens passed away.

i love the book shops

 of bangkok and my father and i hit the night clubs of bangkok.

we dont have that much money and i really do hope that i am able to go to bangkok for the new year.

when will the world end and when the sufferings of the people end?.

i dont know that and where does the universe keep on going and i am sure that there is life outside earth.

i am fucking sick of this bloody miserable life and i dont know what to do.

i love to read books and i get put off when i read a  book and  dont remember what i read in it but now i do remember what i read.

i have to buy books on religion from bangkok.

i know that thoes were the best days of my life when i was in hawaii with my mothers sister naureen safdar butt.

i have to read hundreds of books so i can write a bestseller  and a bestseller is inside me.

why were we made and what is the point of life?.

there is actually nothing to do in life but to suffer and rot.

this is what it is actually.

i just love the khao san road  in bangkok and i  cant get enough of it and
i just like to party all night long over there and i love the streets of bangkok and the  beaches of pattaya.

i love to read and i have a lot of books in my room.

coming back to the point , i hear voices almost every day.

  and the compulsions bother me all the time but i dont do them.

will i   really become a writer and sell billions of copies and will i  ever be cured of this illness?.

this is pure obsessive compulsive disorder and 

 it is schizophrenia.

i  also  feel very depressed and my heart sinks.

my health is being affected , i am fat and i eat too much and i am

 obese and diabetic and that is terrible.

i dont know what to do with this life i have been given.

what can possibly be done about this crap?.

i really do want to go to bangkok  to party.

the book shop i like the best is the 

 kinokuniya book shop in the siam paragon shopping mall in bangkok , thailand and buy books from there.

i have to go to lahore to discuss the compulsions with my mother and sort them out and then i might go to bangkok if we have the money.

UPDATE:i am sick of this bloody life and i dont want to live and i really want to go to bangkok,thailand.
i am sick of all this bull shit.

 SOME ONE HELP /

DO READ MY BLOG AND COMMENT!.

DANIAL TANVIR!.