Thursday, December 10, 2015

The unheard cries...cant wait to rock the dance floor in Bangkok..PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG IN BANGKOK!.,sick of this bloody life,when will i be cured of this illness?

i dont know what to say or so , this is danial tanvir.
i had going to the usa and i went here and there,i was in new york city as well as washington dc.
i went to the book shop about  7 times and bought many books.
i bought "the argument for God" and also "God is not one"
and also "the insanity of God".
 i have the book called "the evolution of God" with me ,
i have a lot of books in my room, i have most of the christopher hitchens books.
i have  alot of books in my room in islamabad,

i had fun in new york , in times square and also in going to the barnes and nobels book shop/
i dont believe in any bloody religion.
pakistan is a fucked up country where there in no freedom of speech .

i rocked the dance floor in times square in new york then i was back in islamabad .

coming back to the point all know that i am not well.

i am mentally ill , i have  been suffering from this illness since 8 years, 3 months and 10 days.
i have obsessive compulsive disorder and i hear voices.

i am madly in love with bangkok and i love the night life.

its seems as if i will never be cured of this fucking illness, enough is enough.
i cant wait to go to Bangkok and Party.

i have been going through hell in the past few months , ,the compulsions bothered me and i heard voices  almost every day.
the compulsions go on and on and scew me up/.

i have to become a writer.

the compulsions bother me , they tell me to do things like

closing switches and taps at my step fathers house in the outskirts of lahore.
the switches at my grandmothers brothers house in lahore.
the switches at a school that my mother put me in.
i have to close taps in the bath room near the readings  book shop in lahore.
i have to close taps at my  grandfathers brothers house in lahore.

i have to close all the switches and taps at my grand mothers house in lahore, there are switches in rooms and taps here and there/. these compulsions bother  me and have been going on for many years/.

i have to close taps at a filteration plant near my step fathers house
i have had these issues since many years.

 have to close switches and taps at my step fathers house in lahore , there are switches and taps here and there , i have to close windows in rooms ,.
i have to close the gates of peoples houses and the gate of the park..  this is shit.
i have to close taps in bath room etc in punjab club in lahore.
i have go lose the swithces of fans in a shop in lahore where my mother took me to buy clothes.
what the fuck?.
the list goes on and on and i am bloody ill,.

i have Christopher Hitchens books.

i miss new york and toronto,./
i cant wait to hit the night clubs of bangkok.

with my will power and with the medicines , i am fighting this illness but as you know it is very terrible , its seems as if some one has cursed me,. dam?,.
i love bruce springsteen and maroon 5.

specially the songs "sugar"

and "moves like jagger"
and "love somebody"dam i LoVE bANgKok.
just think about all the parties we had at our flat in islamabad.

I will party all  night long and hit the night clubs , dam i love it,./,.

i have gone through hell in the past  more than 8 years due to this illness and it seems as if i will not be cured of this illness , enough is enough , i cant take it any more despite the  fact that i love Bangkok,.

i hear voices which tell me that the whole world is a setup and  that every one is against me and that they are all coming to get  you.

how could you joshwa?
how could you do such a thing>
dont you get it , this is all part of a setup?.

dont you get it?
they are all coming to get you?
you are nothing but  a coward , coward who wants to kill himself.

you must do it , you must close the switches , you must close the taps , you must do it , where the fuck were you all these years joshwa?
you wanted books? right ., well you got the books you wanted ,
i a mentally ill,
i cant live\
i cant die
what the hell can i do?
i love maroon 5 and i love Bangkok , must goodness i love it , the night life and the book shops.

is there some thing wrong with me or is there some thing wrong with the whole world?,

some one please help me , i need help due to this fucking illness,.
the only thing i can say is that Bangkok is heaven on earth , lets hope that one day i will be cured of this illness ,.
i dont know why i have to suffer so much for no bloody reason , i blame God for  the horrible things that happen.
God is heartless
God is unfair
God is cruel
i dont know what to do , pakistan is a fucked up country where there is no freedom of speech and there is religous intolerance  ,
there was an earthquake in pakistan 2 months ago and we were scared shit man , fuck?
i just want to run to Bangkok and party all night long on the streets of Bangkok and dance on maroon5/,.
life is worst than hell,

the bitter truth is that life is miserable and the  sufferings will never end,.

what can i possibly do man?.

 i hate god and i hate religion.
i love the streets of bangkok , i am  ill  Man,.
i read dan barkers book called
"life driven purpose;how an atheist find meaning."
he sent me that book  from america to lahore,
he talked about the fact that why be good when ther is no God
he talked about god and the fact that blasphemy is not a crime.
i read "elizabeh costello" by jm coetzee , and then i read "the white tiger" by arvinda adiga.
i will be dancing all night long in the streets of Bangkok .

i will rock the dance floor in book shops , listen to the music and hit the night clubs , hit the  book shops and the nutella banana pan cakes , dam  , .
i dance to the beat of the music in Bangkok , i am ill coming back to the point , i want to heal from this illness and go to Hawaii and listen to an indian song.

life is full of misery and injustice and God is to blame for all the miseries in this  world.
i have been suffering from this illness for more than 8 fucking years and enough i enough , i cant take it any more.

is hitting the night clubs in bangkok the solution?
there are UFOS and aliens and where does the universe keep on going.

how can it be that there was no beggining to god?
i party all night in bangkok and meet people from israel but i am from pakistan.
i travel with my father,
enough is enough , when the fuck will these sufferings end?
when will i be  cured of the fucking illness?
it seems as if i will never be cured of this illness and thats why i  going to party all night long in bangkok , read books an enjoy my self as i  have suffered enough.

  i have been able to control and fight many of the compulsions with the medicines and will power , but the lahore compulsions still bother me
i have issues in islamabad for example closing the taps 16 times in some  toilet in the f9 park in islamabad.
i have  suffered enough in life and  i bloody need and deserve some happyness.

i have many   books in my room infact i have a lot like john grisham and "a golden age" by tahmima anam.
i am going to bangkok on the 23rd of december 2015 and am booked in omni towers.
i will rock the dance floor in bangkok and visit all the book shops.


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